(Many from 'Ginger Megs' comic strips, + others)

How do I know what I think, until I hear what I say...?
I want to live, or die in the attempt.
Never fall in love with a tennis player, to them love means nothing...
Life is only as long as you live it...
Life is a carwash, and I'm on a skateboard.
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Without time, everything would happen at once.
There's many a sip, twixt cup and lip.
Remember, there's a little kid who lives inside all of us. Grow up!
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
So much time. So little to do... And vice versa. 'So much to do. So little time.'
Is baldness a sign of a man who came out on top?
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I'm sick of being a hypochondriac...
I'm nobody, and nobody's perfect...
Was King Tut a mummy's boy?
Subaru spelt backwards is U-R-A BUS.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Work and you work alone.
He is a self-made man, and he worships his creator.
He who is hen-pecked, may lend his ear to other chicks.
Old age is better than the alternative.
May your life be like toilet paper...long and useful!
My car has wife-assisted steering.
Removing the distributor would be pointless.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Raining cats and dogs is better than hailing taxis...
A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility...
When a mime fires a gun. Does he use a silencer?
Egotists are always me-deep in conversation.
Bad spellers of the world you-knight!
Lotto: You've got to be in it to lose it...
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Moving fast is not the same as going places...
Diets: here today and gaunt tomorrow.
Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out alone.
If a train station is where a train stops. What is a work station?
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you have to blow your nose.
In nuclear warfare, all men are cremated equal.
Give an example how too much salt can be unhealthy...................Lot's wife.
I never drink alone, unless I'm with someone...
Passive smoking gives you cancer quietly.
Why are they called 'bottoms' when they are only half-way down?
It's not the pace of life that concerns me. It's the sudden stop at the end!
The Mona Lisa was framed!
The pen is mightier than the pigs.
Many a wife is her husband's bitter half.
Never say, "N_ _ _ _ again!"
The height of insignificance is to be none in a million...
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park somewhere else!
Let him who takes the plunge remember to return it...
Employ a teenager while they still know everything.
Don't put off till tomorrow what you can't do today...
Long dresses cover a multitude of shins.
If at first you don't succeed... So much for sky-diving!
Indecision is the basis of flexibility.
Rubber bands have snappy ends...
Take my advice, I'm not using it at the moment.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
It was when Adam and Eve ate the apple they realised they had no cloves.
Dieting is slowing down to make a curve.
I'm nobody's fool. I'm a freelancer.
T.V. is a wasting disease.
Not working, I can handle............Not handling the money is the problem!
It's impossible to lose your footing on your knees.
Remember, your brain has a mind of its own.
Humans are bio-degradable.
I'm proud I'm modest!
Nostalgia is a thing of the past.
Unemployment isn't working!
Is the road you are on, to God's place...?
Don't eat with your mouth full.
Do barbers have fringe benefits?
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Patience comes to those who wait.
Invest in Australia. Buy Japanese! (Chinese?)
Cigarettes hunt in packs.
Dogs who chase cars get exhausted.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
The future isn't what it used to be.
Life is the storm before the calm.
The early bird gets the worm; but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Retired teachers have no class.
Adults are obsolete children
If quitters never win, and winners never quit. Which fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Your nose is like a bridge over a flowing stream.
Your teeth are like stars. They only come out at night.
Your lips are like petals. Bike 'petals'.
It's better to light one candle, than curse the darkness.
Silence is wonderful to listen to.....
If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.
No-one notices what I do until I don't do it.
The most exercise some people get, is pushing their luck.
The biggest mistake some people make is being always right. (Sorry! My mistake!)
Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents.
One thing you can say about kids is, they don't go around showing photos of their grandparents.
Never argue with people who know they are right! (Don't argue with me!)
I was going to join the apathy club, but I just couldn't be bothered going.
You never know what you can't do until you try.
I can't remember if I used to know that.
Tomorrow is the busiest day of the year.
Life is easy, living is hard.
Work is okay if it doesn't take up too much of your leisure time.
Since I took up exercise, I have the energy of a man twice my age.
The best time to plan ahead is always in the past.
Just because I look stupid doesn't mean I'm not.
Just because I look stupid doesn't mean I am.
The cost of living is the difference between your nett income and your gross habits!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I like being single. I'm always there when I need me!
Lord, for your faithful servants life is changed, not ended.
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.
Take a mirror to bed and wake-up to yourself!
I'll try anything once too often!
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose!
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
A wise old man once told me never to listen to a wise old man.
Life is so hard! It's breathe, breathe, breathe all the time!
I'd feel better if I wasn't so sick!
I'm not a complete idiot! Some of my parts are missing.
Love is blind. Marriage is for lovers, so, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Great minds think alike. Dills never differ.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
The Hernia Society needs your support.
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no socks.
Some people can't tell a lie, some people can't tell the truth, and some people can't tell the difference.
Pinocchio knew people who could pull strings.
I may not go down in history, but just wait till chemistry.
You are only as old as you look.
Time heals all wounds.
Time wounds all heals.
The best things in life are not things.
Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.
The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.
If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the well-worn paths of accepted success.
Shut-up! Now you're talking!
Don't wait. Procrastinate now!
What is an eggplant? A chicken.
Son says to dad. "Dad, where did I get my intelligence?" Dad to son. "Your mother. I've still got mine!"
Never, never, never could one conceive what love is, beforehand. Never." (D.H. Lawrence, who died 2-3-1930)
"Living long is good. You don't have to listen to what your elders say anymore." (Gin Kanie, one of the world's oldest twins. Died 28-2-2001, aged 108. Her sister Kin Narita, died in Jan. 2000, aged 107.)
An idiot is one who fights against God. He is the antithesis of Wisdom. He fights against all that is Good and Wise and Loving. He fights against Life Itself. His folly is supreme and ends in madness. Satan is the supreme idiot.
A kindy teacher asked a little child, "What are you drawing?" The little child answered, "I'm drawing God." The kindy teacher said, "That's impossible! No-one knows what God looks like." The little child said, "That's OK. They will in a minute."
A Jehovah's Witness, lamenting all the troubles in the world, was canvassing for converts and approached a Catholic. The Catholic's response was, "Not a problem. All you need is an Irish Pope, a Catholic queen (of England) and a DLP (Catholic) Prime Minister (in Aust.)."
Some women get all excited about NOTHING! And then, they marry him!
It's been said, "If you want to live, get a life!" (Christ, the Messiah, is the Life! Find out for yourself. No-one can do it for you! If you find Him, you'll be amazed and gob-smacked out of your brain. I hope you find Him.)
How long a minute is, depends on which side of the toilet door you're on.
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
The one thing that keeps me from staying on my diet is food.
If I agreed with you.......we'd both be wrong!
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
You're never too old to learn something, stupid!
"When a diplomat says 'yes', he means perhaps; when he says 'perhaps', he means no; when he says 'no', he is no diplomat." Anonymous.
When you are going through hell, don't stop!
What the LARGE print giveth, the small print taketh away.
Work is the price you pay for money.
I'm having the sort of day, where I feel like a one-legged man on a bike.
"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tunes without the words, and never stops at all." US poet Emily Dickinson, b.10 Dec.1830.
A 'Smart' question: Of all the characters in the Bible, who was the smartest financier? Answer: Noah: because he managed to keep all of his stocks afloat, while everybody else was going into liquidation!
Who was the first woman to say, "I haven't got anything to wear!" You guessed it: Eve; the girl with the apple who said, "I've got no cloves!"
What were 2 currants in a bun doing? Answer: They were having 'a currant affair'.
Why were Adam and Eve nude? Answer: They were 'airing' their differences.
Live the day; thanking God every step of the way.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Life is a school, and love is the lesson.